Speaking your truth

It seemed only fitting that I would conclude my reporting from South Carolina with an entry about Ken Hubbard, an openly gay African-American resident of Charleston who is presently in nursing school.

Hubbard, a 45-year-old Arkansas native who moved to SC nine years ago, came out to his highly religious family when he was 32. Although they had attended church almost every day of the week when he was growing up, they weren’t living in a bubble. His mother and two sisters apparently already knew and were simply waiting for Hubbard to get with the program. “I told one of my sisters and she said, ‘And?’ I told the other one and she said, 'So?'” Hubbard recalls.

He encountered a bit more tension with his two brothers, both of whom are Pentecostal preachers. “It’s been a little rough -- they both had to balance it with their faith,” says Hubbard, adding that one of them still struggles a bit. Even so, when Hubbard was home for Christmas, the brother that’s still adjusting took Hubbard to meet his church elder. “He may not be fully comfortable, but if he takes me to meet the Bishop, then he’s okay,” he says with a smile.

Hubbard just finished serving a year on the board of the NAACP’s Charleston Chapter and is taking a break right now while he concentrates on his studies. But long before working with the NAACP, he was involved with both of the state’s gay organizations, the South Carolina Equality Coalition and the Alliance For Full Acceptance. He says he felt more compelled to get political about his sexuality because it might otherwise be missed by others. “People will always see me as a black man, but not all of them will see me as a gay black man,” he says.

He joined the NAACP Board when AFFA members were working to build alliances and Dot Scott, the rather fearless president of Charleston's NAACP Chapter, told him that if gays and lesbians wanted her help, then Hubbard should join her board. “It works both ways” is how he remembers her saying it. (Hubbard gives her a lot of credit for having the chutzpah to invite a gay man to sit on her board.)

Hubbard can count the number of out, established black peers he knows in Charleston on less than two hands, and he knows another 15 or so who are gay but not open about it. “The students and young adults are getting much better,” he adds.

But for the older generations, it’s just easier not to discuss it even if people know someone is gay. “It’s okay for people to know as long we don’t have to talk about it,” Hubbard says, describing people’s attitudes toward gays and lesbians. “But if it comes out in the open, then I have to deal with my prejudices.”

Hubbard, whose unique openness makes him a widely sought after commodity for all kinds of speaking engagements, said one seminar in particular showed him the power of speaking out. At a diversity seminar on a fundamentalist college campus in Spartanburg, SC, he was invited to speak about his experiences as a gay black man. When he arrived to the auditorium of 100-plus students, “it was already a hornet’s nest,” he says. A dispute had broken out among the students once they realized what the topic of discussion would be.

When the crowd began asking questions, “It’s fair to say, they were disrespectful,” says Hubbard, who has a background in divinity and served as a lay pastor at one point. He talked to them about questioning how they could serve God in this situation, since no matter what they said, “You’re not going to change my view about who I am.”

Things eventually reached a relative calm and then one African-American boy stood up and said, “This is the first time that I’ve ever told anyone that I’m gay, and I might not be able to do this all the time, but I can take this first step.”

Says Hubbard, “That’s when I knew this is what I was meant to do – open my big mouth. I can show people how to stand up with dignity.”

Hubbard’s faith beamed through him during our discussion, but he admitted that religion had initially made it harder for him to embrace his sexuality. “We all knew who was gay, but we just didn’t talk about it,” he says of his church growing up. “That was etched in my mind.”

And lest we forget the presidential -- Hubbard is torn between Clinton and Obama, but is leaning Obama at the moment. And for the record, the Donnie McClurkin deal really didn’t bother him that much. “It was a little disappointing, but (Obama) is a man, he’s going to make mistakes. If I’m ever going to ask for forgiveness, I have to forgive others.” Hubbard believes that removing McClurkin from the tour would have been “cowering down” in a way. “I wish Obama would have come out against Donnie and said, ‘Please don’t do this on my stage. You need to take that message elsewhere,’” says Hubbard. “But Donnie doesn’t define who God is to me,” he adds. “It’s my job to get on stage and talk back.”

(A little programming note: Technically, this completes my reporting from SC, as I flew back to New York today. If possible, I will write one more entry about an interview I did with Rev. Joseph Darby of Charleston. Anyone who wants to read the SC blogging in its entirety, click here. Thanks for tuning in. --Kerry)